Homeschool moms: I wonder if many of you can relate to this.

Have you ever had a big dream, or a big expectation for your homeschool? Have you ever spent time and energy on something, feeling so excited to present it to your kids…only to have it flop?

This has happened to me, numerous times in the past four years. For some reason, even though it’s happened before, it still tends to catch me off guard! I feel thrown off, discouraged, and have to really focus myself to regroup.

Sometimes I spend hours dreaming up (what I believe is) a “super fun activity” or super fun project, only to have my kids react with little enthusiasm.

Sometimes a subject or topic I think will be easy, ends up being hard for them.

Sometimes I have to face my own limitations as a mom and teacher, and realize that my current method isn’t getting through to them!

No matter what the situation, homeschooling is definitely not for the faint of heart. You have to constantly reflect, re-asses, and make changes to try and be the best homeschool mom and teacher, you can be. But homeschool moms are tired! We are doing a lot, all the time.

Self Care In Homeschooling

Earlier this year, when I was facing a bit of burnout, I wrote a post about being the best homeschool mom you can be. It’s important to think about what makes you tick, what energizes you, and try to prioritize those things sometimes.

Moms often feel that they have to sacrifice first for their families- and there is something very noble in that! However, we are always trying to strike a balance, aren’t we! As the saying goes, you can’t pour from an empty cup. I hope this post can spur some ideas for you, to remember what you love to do.

The Ebb & Flow of Homeschooling

Have you also noticed that things that were hard for you last year, may not be hard this year?

I have noticed a real ebb and flow to homeschooling, in many ways. One of these is with the challenging parts! What was hardest last year, is not still the hardest, this year.

Perhaps the biggest change I noticed, from last year to this year, is that we are reading less picture books aloud! Reading aloud has always been one of my favorite activities to do with my kids, even before I was homeschooling. I find it relaxes both them and me, it doubles as quality time and snuggle time, and we love talking about different parts of each book.

As you probably know from my love of “Library Gems” and all things picture books, we also visit the library several times a week! For the past eight years or so, library trips and book refreshes have been a regular part of my parenting.

Because of the ages and temperaments of my younger two, though, this past year was not super conducive to reading aloud as a whole group. I think my daughter (age 2) will love books eventually, but right now, whenever I try to read aloud, she just yells over me! (Seriously. Every sentence. :))

This overwhelmed me a bit at first. She still naps, but we cannot possibly fit all of our homeschooling in for my three other kids, during the nap time. I have to be strategic, and plan the day in other creative ways, to make sure I get some good time with them each day. We do loop scheduling to help with this, and honestly–being a crazy list lady helps me, to.

Even so, this new normal was hard to adjust to. I found myself mourning what we had in the past. I know it will change again–one of the guarantees of life–but right now, in this chaotic time of life, reading aloud effectively, with all four of my kids, just isn’t happening.

New Challenges Arise

Another new challenge that arose this year was one of learning style!

We started school about 8 weeks ago, and I noticed some grumbling happening a few weeks in. Now of course, complaining is something we all do from time to time, both kids and adults. I understand that kids are not going to enjoy every part of their schooling, whether they are homeschooled, or go to a mainstream public or private school! However, if grumbling becomes too frequent, it can really impact morale and attitudes! As I often tell my kids, attitude is contagious.

To combat some of the grumbling, and because it’s still so nice outside this fall, I started doing more school sessions outside. I would grab our huge picnic blanket, a few bowls of snacks, some coloring supplies, and fidgets. I had everything, and everyone, “covered” for outside school: snacks in case of hunger, things to do in case of boredom, and just an overall great setup. I thought I was set.

Time and time again, I felt like it flopped. One of my sons in particular did not seem to cooperate. I felt like all of my effort was being wasted, and, I felt very frustrated. I had done all of these nice things, to make the learning environment optimal, and he wasn’t appreciating it or benefitting from it. In fact, it was having the opposite effect!

Missing the Obvious

After talking about it at length with my husband, I realized something. My son’s learning style was not matching up with my teaching style. Especially for something “special” like outside school–he simply wasn’t responding to it the way I expected. I thought he would be thrilled, be munching on snacks, listening to me read, and completing his comprehension questions happily afterward. That is not really what happened.

My husband reminded me that for some kids, doing school outside would actually be pretty distracting! I had gotten really stuck in my own mind, and totally forgotten this. As a learner, I myself probably would have handled this just fine. As a child, I would have loved the opportunity to go outside, sit on a blanket in the warm sunshine, eat snacks, and complete map coloring pages and comprehension questions as I listened to my teacher read. However–to state the obvious, my son, is not me! He wasn’t trying to be disobedient or uncooperative–the outdoor environment simply wasn’t super conducive to his learning.

My son is like my husband when it comes to learning–they both prefer to get down to the facts, right away, and get things done. They are black and white, task-based, and are thinking about how they can have fun, once their work is done. They don’t really think about schoolwork being the fun. (Ha!) They aren’t overly interested in embellishments. Having snacks is nice, but doing school on a nice blanket outside in the sunshine–this isn’t something they overly care about.

Of course, I love my son very much. But I had gotten too much into my own head, my own ideas, my own preferences. I had forgotten that sometimes, even with the best laid plans, the learning is not going to happen exactly how I hope it will. I have to be flexible, to adjust, and to be attuned to each of my kids! That is the challenge, and the beauty, of homeschooling.

How about you–what has been challenging for you this year? What changes have you seen in your kids? What plans have you made, that have flopped? 🙂 Remember, we are not alone in this! Sometimes you just need a little reframe. I’d love to hear your experience.

With love,

Cait